The basics -
This is a psalm of King David - my current favorite biblical character. Man did he ever screw up a lot, and a lot worse than most of us will ever screw up. But he was still beloved of God. Probably written late in his life during the time when Absalom was leading a rebellion against him. Absalom was one of David's sons, and one of two who rebelled against him with military force.
This is the psalm that coins the phrase - "I lift up my eyes to you oh lord" One of the most favorite psalms. This psalm is an important part of the Jewish tradition of Rosh Hashanah
This psalm is written in acrostic style - the first letter of each line are combined to make a word or phrase, or memory device. David chose the Hebrew alphabet, so he was literally beginning each line with the next letter in the alphabet, probably to try to remember the psalm. But at some point passion takes him and he just starts writing... sounds familiar.
This is one of the Penitential Psalms where David is confessing to the Lord, there are 7 of these psalms.
For the sake of your name - What you ask for you ask for for Gods sake not your sake. That is the goal to love god in a way where your first concern is what is best for his kingdom. Like you love your actual father, or mother, or children. Any other kind of love is not real love. I know that now through bitter and painful experience. Not loving Tami in that way until it was too late. Despite the examples laid before me.
Forgive my inequity, though it is great - Asking for the forgiveness of things you have done. Asking God to just forgive, not to wipe away for undo. Gods plans are his own. and He knows the desires of your heart before you even ask for anything. So when you get to a point where you are asking not for selfish miracles (although it is ok to hope for those things) but rather you are asking just to be forgiven, so that you can be in that loving relationship with him again, that is a good barometer of your healing and forgiving yourself. I think it is fine to pray for selfish miracles. It is fine to ask for what your heart desires. I certainly have and it certainly seems to be working out. Tami has left the man she married when she left me. God seems to be clearing a path to love with a Bulldozer of Grace. I definitely kept asking for it, but it is interesting that it never happened until my prayer actually became - not my will but yours for me. You know what I want, but what I want most is whatever you want from me and for me and to get that I ask forgiveness.
who then are those who fear the lord? he will instruct them in the ways they should choose. The interesting thing here is that it says "they should choose" Love and submission, and faithfulness are choices, Gods love is expressed for us in part by the gift of free will. We have to choose to be faithful and obedient. Love requires free will. To love God you have to choose to love him. Free will is, in my opinion how we are created in Gods own image. We can choose to love. We can choose not to hate, we can choose to be instructed by God.
God seems to be working some huge miracles in my life. I am prayerful and optomistic that the terrible things that have happened this past year and a half are almost behind me. Certainly Tami's admission and apology have been huge in my heart. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I hope for the faith to try in a Godly way.
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